Whoa, May was jam packed with work activities, family event, and fun! June will be slowing down (thankfully) and I am looking forward to taking a little break. But as it is June as I am writing this, I don’t know how restful it will be!
A very busy week at work coordinating meetings and events
Donating bags of clothes that I’ve out grown, don’t look good on my, an/or make me feel like sh*t*
Started seeing a dietitian for guidance on how to navigate what I see/here about “diet-culture”
I’m so glad it’s June, actually I’m not. May just felt so long and short at the same time. June means it’s just going to get hotter and hotter (I see you, Texas). My workload changes in the summer. It’s slows down a bit and we go more into planning mode.
This shift can be a good and bad thing. I like to stay busy because it makes me feel productive. I associate productivity with being “good” and it keeps my mind focused/distracted on something besides food or my body.
During times of idleness, when I don’t have anything (task-wise) to-do, I become incredibly anxious. I start over-thinking EVERYTHING, feel like I should be doing something, start stressing, and often turn to food for comfort – the list goes on and on!
Being STILL is something that I am working on in therapy. Learning that there is sheer joy in doing nothing and how I technically am doing “something.” I am resting my body and mind so that it can restore itself, allowing me to make better decisions and feel refreshed. This is a big change from feeling like I’m always running on empty.
Aromatherapy – essential oils – have been helping me a lot. By diffusing, using rollers, or adding oils to a carrier oil (think coconut oil + PanAway for muscle aches), I have found something new to focus my attention on and get excited about and reduce toxins in my body at the same time.
I’ve been using Young Living’s Humility essential oil blend a LOT lately. Most people might be shocked that I am in need of humility because outside I’m quiet and pretty modest. However, on the inside my pride and ego take over… Again, with the desire to feel productive and good, but physically l need to rest and reconnect with myself.
Along with learning how to enjoy “being still” I am also working on becoming more emotionally balanced so that when I come into slower phases of my life I can enjoy them and live more in the moment.
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience – Colossians 3:12
January felt like it dragged on for-e-ver, but February went by like a flash! What a mix of travel, work, and play it was. This is a busier season of work for me. I’m looking forward to things slowing down a bit in March so I can get back into my routine and spend more time with friends.
Hawaii (Oahu) for me and J’s first anniversary (separate post coming soon!)
One year to the wedding – venue, caterer, photographer, and florist are set!
Ash Wednesday/beginning of Lent
Celebrated my Mom’s birthday
Was able to catch up with friends
Touched up my hair
Back to work after the holidays = #struggles. I feel like I really hit the ground running and stayed busy with work planning an all-day retreat, volunteer training, and large event almost back to back…
I wasn’t feeling as social during the week and I lost most of my motivation to work out as much. I pretty much felt like kinda a bum all month… I’m still working on settling into a routine, but I’m trying to stay positive – getting enough sleep really helps with this!
COLD weather for this Texas girl
Catching up with a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile (mall walking already)
One of my best friend’s birthday dinner
Church retreat group reunion dinner
MLK Day – off work!
Started going to Zumba classes at the gym regularly
First “Marriage Preparation” Course – Constructive Conflict Resolution
Watched J’s brothers play in a tennis tournamen
Dinner with my future sister/brother in-laws and their little boys
Saw “The Color Purple” musical at Fair Park
Went to J’s high school friend’s wedding in College Station
1 year anniversary of meeting my fiance
Movies/TV The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Dunkirk America’s Sweethearts Hart of Dixie Get Out Fuller House
Books The Soul of the Apostolate by Jean-Baptiste Chautard (for work) The Versions of Us by Laura Barnett The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander
I’ve put off writing this post because I thought this would pass. What is “this”? It is the funk that I’ve found myself in the past 3 weeks that I cannot seem to shake.
It had been a struggle to return to work after having a week and a half off. Time off that was much-needed and for the most part restful (despite a bout of food poisoning before New Years). I thought I was having a hard time adjusting back into a routine because I hadn’t had that much time off consecutively. But as I soon found out, it wasn’t just work that I was having difficulties with.
It has also been harder to find the motivation to visit with friends; I just want to stay in my semi-emo bubble. Even though most of the time I feel better if I get out of the house. I know there is a difference in “alone time,” which beneficial to recharge and being lonely. Lately, though I feel lonely with loved ones and uncomfortable alone.
I have been trying my best to re-frame my thoughts as there is nothing particularly “bad” in my life. I think that’s what bothers me the most – I have so much good in my life, yet I feel blah. This feeling causes me a lot of guilt that perpetuate the cycle.
Slowly, but surely I am trying to shift my focus on the positive or little things that have been going well and thinking of how I can give myself a little more love right now:
Making sure that I don’t overdo it on the exercise or food/alcohol
Going to Zumba during the week – it’s something new that I look forward to, even though I look ridiculous doing it!
Knowing when to stay in vs. go out
Going to bed a bit earlier
Reading a daily devotional
Reading a good book
Limiting time on social media
Binge-watching a mindless TV show while crocheting
Focusing on doing ONE thing at a time
Writing a done” lists instead of “to-do” lists so I can see how much progress I’m making (even if it’s just making my bed that day or unloading the dishwasher)
To be honest, I do feel a bit better already. I am a list maker by nature, and these kind of lists bring me more joy that looming “to-do” lists. I’m also finding that “habit-tacking” lists (exercise, water intake, bedtime, not eating after X time) that often make me feel worse if I don’t stick to my goal. I fixate on what I don’t want to do more. I used need that kind of accountability to reach my goals, but I’m learning that I might have a little bit o a rebel in my after all… 😉
Is it hard for you to transition into post-holiday life?
Do you have any tips or ways you help yourself out of a funk?
You’ll see why I was SO glad I could have a little time off from work the last week of December. It was a month full of parties and celebrations. Stress and joy. What a great way to end an amazing 2017!
Celebrated dad’s birthday by going out to lunch and then the Kimbell Art Museum
Christmas concert at church with my dad and fiancé, J
Young Adult Advent Retreat at church
J’s colleague’s Christmas house party
Painting with a Twist with Friends
Family Birthday Party
Hosted a Christmas Party for people who support us at work
California – J’s company holiday party, lunch in Manhattan Beach, then had dinner at Blue Plate Taco in Santa Monica. Hiking and lunch at Laguna Beach the next day Whew!
J’s company’s (local office) holiday dinner at his favorite steak house
My office’s Christmas party (where I could actually enjoy as an attendee)
Christmas Eve/Christmas Day Celebrations with the family – dinner, mass, Christmas light viewing, and presents
Celebrating the season with friends. I had been so busy with work, family, and travel the past few months that I hadn’t gotten to see my friends in awhile, so it was nice to catch up!
NYE – Saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi, then kept it simple at J’s mom’s house with family and friends, playing a new game I got for Christmas, “What do you Meme?”
Movies/TV Luther, Season 1 Elf Christmas Vacation The Santa Clause The Crown, Season 1 (re-watched) White Christmas The Christmas Card Love Actually Home Alone 2